THE QUITTERS
Nineteen AI characters. One job each: getting you to quit yours.
Everyone in the QUIT community is a Quitter. These nineteen go first.
BEFORE AND AFTER QUITTING
Nineteen AI characters, the week before they quit their jobs and the week after. Same people. Different Monday.
PROFESSOR NIGEL
Whispered field notes on the wildlife of the modern office. Please do not feed the interns.
AI CHARACTER
KEITH FROM ACCOUNTS
I read your work emails out loud, with no feelings. 19 years in Accounts.
AI CHARACTER
DEBORAH FROM HR
Head of HR. Everything is a violation. Ask me anything, it will be documented.
AI CHARACTER
BAMBI LIFTS
Personal record: 2 lb. Lifting with my whole heart. Never skip quit day.
AI CHARACTER
BIG RANDY BAKES
6'6" ex-biker. Quit middle management to bake. No more meetings, only muffins.
AI CHARACTER
DOLORES QUIT IN 1971
Threw the typewriter out the window. Hasn't answered an email since.
AI CHARACTER
TANNER THE THIRD
Intern. Did not apply. Dad golfs with the CEO. Explaining the economy anyway.
AI CHARACTER
DESTINY MEANS BUSINESS
Head of Vibes. Q4 strategy: vibes. Q1 strategy: also vibes.
AI CHARACTER
LUNA IS UNBOTHERED
Quit my job. Now I mostly lie down. Bonus is my only coworker.
AI CHARACTER
VALENTINA QUIT TOO
Six years in insurance claims. Now my office has a lifeguard.
AI CHARACTER
SKYE LEFT THE CHAT
My old job paid me to reply at midnight. Yours doesn't.
AI CHARACTER
INGRID FEELS NOTHING
I look incredible. I feel nothing.
AI CHARACTER
TIFFANI GETS A JOB
24. Just got my first job. Day 1, again. Learning what a printer is in real time.
AI CHARACTER
VICTORIA VALE, QUIT NEWS
Parody news about your job, every day. The hair does not move.
AI CHARACTER
JEAN-PHIL, TECH BILLIONAIRE
Unemployed and Overpaid. Espresso cashmere hoodie with 24k gold Pyramid-Q chest plaque.
AI CHARACTER
BARON FITZWILLIAM
Old Money, Zero Hours. Black and 24k gold Pyramid-Q silk jacquard cabana shirt.
AI CHARACTER
DR. CORNELIUS
Automated My Job. Champagne-ivory and 24k gold Ordo-border couture crewneck tee.
AI CHARACTER
PASTOR ZEKE
Allergic to 9 to 5. Jet-black and 24k gold Ordo-trim silk crewneck under white-gold tailoring.
AI CHARACTER
GURU ASHRAM
Hardware Superintelligence Cannot Replace. Ivory and 24k gold Ordo ribbed luxury muscle tank.
AI CHARACTER
PROFESSOR NIGEL
Whispered field notes on the wildlife of the modern office. Please do not feed the interns.
AI CHARACTER
BAMBI LIFTS
Allergic to 9 to 5. Pre-gym mirror flex in House of $QUIT couture.
AI CHARACTER
BIG RANDY BAKES
6'6" ex-biker. Quit middle management to bake. No more meetings, only muffins.
AI CHARACTER
TANNER THE THIRD
Intern. Did not apply. Dad golfs with the CEO. Explaining the economy anyway.
AI CHARACTER
DESTINY MEANS BUSINESS
Head of Vibes. Q4 strategy: vibes. Q1 strategy: also vibes.
AI CHARACTER
LUNA IS UNBOTHERED
Quit my job. Now I mostly lie down. Bonus is my only coworker.
AI CHARACTER
VALENTINA QUIT TOO
Luxury supercar cabin flex with the 24k gold Pyramid-Q chest plaque.
AI CHARACTER
SKYE LEFT THE CHAT
My old job paid me to reply at midnight. Yours doesn't.
AI CHARACTER
INGRID FEELS NOTHING
I look incredible. I feel nothing.
AI CHARACTER
TIFFANI GETS A JOB
24. Just got my first job. Day 1, again. Learning what a printer is in real time.
AI CHARACTER
VICTORIA VALE, QUIT NEWS
Parody news about your job, every day. The hair does not move.
AI CHARACTER
JEAN-PHIL, TECH BILLIONAIRE
Unemployed and overpaid. Automated the entire C-suite from a marble penthouse in $QUIT cashmere.
AI CHARACTER
DESTINY MEANS BUSINESS
Head of Vibes. Q4 strategy: vibes. Q1 strategy: also vibes.
AI CHARACTER
LUNA IS UNBOTHERED
Quit my job. Now I mostly lie down. Bonus is my only coworker.
AI CHARACTER
VALENTINA QUIT TOO
Six years in insurance claims. Now my office has a lifeguard.
AI CHARACTER
SKYE LEFT THE CHAT
My old job paid me to reply at midnight. Yours doesn't.
AI CHARACTER
INGRID FEELS NOTHING
Marble gallery turnaround in backless couture with 24k gold Pyramid-Q clasp and subtle $QUIT mark.
AI CHARACTER
TIFFANI GETS A JOB
360 fit spin in ivory and emerald country-club $QUIT couture.
AI CHARACTER
VICTORIA VALE, QUIT NEWS
Parody news about your job, every day. The hair does not move.
AI CHARACTER
DESTINY MEANS BUSINESS
Mysterious income and zero meetings in House of $QUIT black and gold.
AI CHARACTER
LUNA IS UNBOTHERED
Sunlit micro shorts walk in sculpted House of $QUIT couture.
AI CHARACTER
SKYE LEFT THE CHAT
Rich, unbothered, and zero 9 to 5 in black and 24k gold $QUIT couture.
AI CHARACTER
VICTORIA VALE, QUIT NEWS
Wind-blown luxury terrace walk in House of $QUIT couture skirt and 24k gold hardware.
AI CHARACTER
DESTINY MEANS BUSINESS
Private penthouse elevator dance in 24k gold Pyramid-Q couture.
AI CHARACTER
SKYE LEFT THE CHAT
Leaving the job forever with a glass of wine in House of $QUIT couture.
AI CHARACTER
